How To Gracefully Say No (Without Feeling Guilty)

As spiritual entrepreneurs, our mission is to be of service to others through our unique brand of transformation. Seems simple, right? Yes… until you look at the experience of many spiritual solopreneurs: overwork for too little money, giving oodles away time for free, saying “yes” at the drop of a hat and putting everyone else’s needs before their own.

The intention is pure of heart and spirit. But all these forms of self-sabotage block your message, leave you feeling resentful and keep you from truly making the kind of impact you’re here to make.

The problem it’s simply that most of us were never taught to do the ONE thing that will empower us to take back our time and our energy, more than any other: set clear boundaries without feeling guilty.

If you’re frustrated because you know you’re “giving it all away” but don’t know how to break the cycle of saying yes when you really want to say no, here’s how to use your Divine Feminine Gift of Boundaries to empower yourself AND those you help.

Tip #1: Get fully on board with gracefully setting boundaries.

After working with hundreds of spiritual entrepreneurs, it’s been my experience that one reason why they give away so much is because they truly don’t understand how much it costs them to do so. They get pulled into the old patterns of “I should do XYZ” because everyone else is doing it, “it’s the spiritual thing to do,” or whatever.

It’s time to get REALLY clear, here: the shadow belief lurking behind boundaries violations is this: “The other person getting what THEY want is more important than I am.”

(If you’re as horrified at that as I was when I first read it, you’re not alone! I can say that this ONE awareness has probably kicked more “client butt” in my practice – in a very empowering way! – than any other.)

The key to gracefully setting boundaries without guilt is to adopt 2 new breakthrough beliefs:

What serves me, serves others.

People find a way to get what they need. (more on that in a second.)

Tip #2: The less said, the better.

When women say no, we instinctively want to jump in, justify, and explain. We want to make it okay for people. While these instincts come from a well-intentioned place, the subsequent behavior just opens the door for “negotiation”… which can lead to caving in.

The urge to make everyone feel better is simply conditioning. It’s a pattern. You can make a new choice at any time by simply saying, “I’m sorry, I’m unable to do that.” And leaving it at that.

Tip #3: Hold your clients (and yourself, AND everyone else) firmly in their power

One of my clients is in the process of “upleveling” – moving away from clients who she loves but can no longer serve in the same way because it asks too much of her. She’s struggling with guilt because she doesn’t want to leave anyone behind.

Here’s what I shared with her: people find a way to get what they need. (I recently learned that we humans are actually hardwired for this – kinda wild, right?) That means YOU don’t have to give yourself away – your clients (and everyone else) can take care of themselves.

I firmly believe that one of the keys to creating massive transformation is to hold them as powerful, always, no matter what. When you hold people as powerful, you create the space for them to step out of needy mode. And you empower yourself to release feelings of guilt as you make the choices that support you.

“Boundary Leaks” Are A Gift In Your Business

Here’s my invitation to you…

Next time you know you’ll have a situation where you’ll be tested on your boundaries (saying no to a client, standing firm in your pricing, sticking to an established agreement)… instead of dreading the conversation, look at it as an opportunity to stand firmly in your power. AND to hold your clients in theirs, too.

It may feel a little funny at first, but the more you set boundaries (and realize that the world isn’t going to collapse!)… the stronger you’ll get. You’ll feel soooo good when you direct your energy in ways that serve you first – so you can serve many, many more people through your Heart Work than you ever could before.

A Simple Formula To Set Your Fees (And Make Sure You Don’t Undercharge)

If so, you’re not alone. Your school or training program probably didn’t teach you how to set your fees, so what are you left to do? Look around at what everyone else is charging and follow suit.

Problem is, when everyone around you is stuck in dollars-for-hours mode (we’re all conditioned to think this way) and undercharging, it’s all too easy to form a belief that you can’t charge what you’re really worth or really want.

Remember, in your business, you’re the boss. You get to design your business to support the life you desire.  And it all starts with how you set your fees.

You might be thinking, “That’s great Elizabeth, but how can I charge what I really want?  Nobody would pay me!”  Goddess, that’s the wrong question!  Instead, ask yourself,

“Who would I have to BE in order to charge that amount, and attract the clients who will pay?”

Here’s a simple 7-step formula to set your fees from this new, empowered place:

Step 1.  Decide on your number.

How much do you need to make each month to live the life you want?  Be sure to include everything: all of your annual expenses, specific purchases you want to make, insurance payments, taxes – everything.

Big Hint: One of the big reasons why entrepreneurs fail when it comes to manifesting mo’ney is that they shoot too high, too soon.  If you’re barely paying your bills right now, focus on creating enough to cover your basic expenses.  Once you create that success, you can quickly move on to the next.

Step 2.  Decide what the money is FOR.

Money is neutral; it has no meaning in and of itself.  What gives it meaning is your emotion.  When your number actually means something to you, you’re much more motivated to put in the energy required to create it (including asking for what you want).

Step 3.  Decide how many hours you want to work.

All actions in your business have a cost, especially serving clients. You can’t create the income you want and the lifestyle you want without getting clear on exactly what you’re willing to pay in time.

Step 4.  Determine the number of clients you want to serve.

The number of private clients you take on is determined by the total number of hours you want to work divided by the time it takes to serve them.  Take care to NOT over-extend yourself – you need time to work ON your business, too!

Step 5.  Design your program or package.

Remember, clients invest in outcomes and results, not time.  What will your client get from working with you?  Your offer needs to have ONE clear core outcome that speaks to your clients’ immediate needs, plus you need to determine the value of that result to the client.

To save time (and in the future, leverage your time) and help your clients get even better results, organize your process into a series of steps, or unique system, that you can walk your clients through.  To further increase the value to your client, kick off your program or package with an intensive-style experience (like a VIP day) that helps them create a result quickly.

Step 6.  Determine the value.

Ask yourself, “When they have [X] result, what’s that worth to them?”  Be sure to look at the impact of the result on their finances, health, relationships and future potential.  Then look at the cost of them NOT having the result: how will NOT solving the problem cost them, in the areas of finances, health, relationships and future potential?

Don’t skip this step!  It’s this uncovering of the true value of the results to the client that ultimately determines what you can (and should) charge.

Step 7. Decide your price.

This is simple math.  To get your fee, take your desired number and divide it by the number of clients you must enroll into your new package.  If the number makes you gasp (!), do NOT lower your fee!  Instead, focus on creating value.  Ask yourself:

“What kind of value do I have to provide in this program in order to charge that amount?”

Who You’re BEING Determines How Much You’re Charging

Your fee reflects your confidence in your skill set. If you’re feeling a lack of confidence in yours, ask yourself: is that doubt really about your skills, or are you taking on the responsibility for your clients?  (“I don’t want to promise results…”)

Remember that your modality – be it coaching, massage, acupuncture, Reiki – has a lineage of transformation behind it, one you can draw on to boost your confidence when you doubt that your stuff really works.  Remember, you’re not the first person to create success doing what you do!

When you are BEING the Divine Feminine Leader you truly are (instead of doubting or taking on their stuff), your clients will feel it, giving them the confidence they need to get the transformation they truly want – at the rates you desire and deserve.

How To Free Up 2 Hours Of Time Each Day (In One Step)

Would you like to know the secret to freeing up literally two hours of your time, each and every day?

If you’re like 99% of the entrepreneurs out there, you can magically create up to 2 hours of time every work day with a single step.

Are you ready for the magic?  Here it is…

Let GO of email.

That’s it.  That’s the secret.

Far too many women entrepreneurs give up their power, their time and their life by being at the beck and call of email.  How do I know?  Because I hear it all the time from my clients, and… I used to be one of them.

Trust me, Goddess, it’s no coincidence that I made my first 6-figures in the same 6-month period that I finally just said NO to the email insanity.  If you want to step into being the Divine Feminine Leader of your business (and make your next big leap in income and impact), you must get a handle on your email.  Here are my 3 favorite tips for taming the email beastie:

1. Stop giving it away.

Be honest, now – how many times have you spent 45 minutes answering a client question that should have been brought to the next session?  How about agonizing to get just the right words (read: so you don’t hurt their feelings) in a response to someone else’s emergency or drama?  Or when a client asks you to “just have a quick peek at my website” and 2 hours later…

When you give away your time to answering client email – you’re doing exactly that: giving away your time.  And you know that once you open that door… your clients are going to ask for more and more.  The answer is to set a clear boundary: stop giving away email access, except for your highest level clients.

Taking this ONE action step will literally change your life.  Here’s some wording you can model, taken from the invitation to one of my programs:

Priority Email Access For Quick Questions And Feedback

As a Divine Feminine Leader member, you get Elizabeth’s “super secret” email address for burning questions and quick feedback.  (Responses within 48 hours, Monday through Thursday.)

Notice how this positioning of my email sets an expectation and a clear boundary, one that I can return to again if issues arise (they rarely do).

2. Create a “super secret” email address – and keep it secret.

Your super-secret email your next clear boundary.  By “super secret,” I mean, ONLY for your family, close friends, team and Platinum clients.  Nobody else.

You can decide if you want to receive newsletters at your super-secret address.  If you do, limit it to the top 5 that you read, and filter them into a folder so you can read them once a week or 5 minutes a day.  Decide what works for you and stick to it.  (And no Facebook notifications!)

Whenever I give my super-secret email to my clients, friends or partners, I am very clear about the rules.  When someone violates them, they’re out.  Yes, I’m ruthless about this.  You should be too!

3. Release control.

All of the mail that comes to your “public email” – whatever you use on your newsletters, website, etc –  should be sorted, handled and answered by an assistant.

(Stay with me!  Keep breathing!)

Giving up email can feel complicated, but it’s really pretty simple.  (Hint: this is a great place for your mind to create confusion and make it seem more overwhelming than it really is.)  When you break it down, your business email will fall into these categories:

• Potential clients
• Current clients
• Potential partners (invites for telesummits, speaking gigs, etc)
• Personal
• Testimonials / raving fans
• Newsletters
• Emails from programs you participate in as a client

Start by creating a simple checklist of what you want your assistant to do for each of these categories. Yes, you’ll oversee your assistant at first, but very quickly they will learn how to respond on your behalf, leaving you free to put your focus where it belongs: income-producing activities.

4. Set a time… and a timer

Respond to email at certain times each day – for example, mid-morning and late afternoon (but definitely not first thing when you wake up!).  Set a timer for how long you’ll answer.  This takes a bit of discipline at first, but stick with it and you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll begin to “keep to time…” and how much time you’ll have left over for the things that really matter.

How To Use Your Intuition To Make Business Decisions

Running a successful business means that you’re going to be making a lot of decisions on a daily basis.   Some are big (who to hire?), some are fun (what to put in the goody bags?), and some are tricky (how to handle this client who keeps missing her payments?).  All require energy and attention.

Inability to make a decision is one of the top reasons why entrepreneurs fail.  Without the ability to make decisions quickly, your business will come to a halt.

Luckily, you have a gift for making decisions quickly – your Divine Feminine Gift of Intuition.   Most spiritual women entrepreneurs value their intuition and would agree that when they use it, both life and business “just flows.”  But here’s the problem…

It’s easy to trust your intuition when it’s the little stuff.  But what about the BIG stuff, like hiring the right person, investing in a mentor, or investing time, energy and money in an event?  These kinds of decisions can trigger doubt, fear, second-guessing and other static created by the ego – which can take you way off course and waste even years of your time.

Be the decision big or small, your intuition can ALWAYS be counted on to guide you in the right direction.  Using your intuition is a skill that you can master with practice.

Here, then, are my top tips on how to use your Divine Feminine Gift of Intuition to make the right decision, every time:

1. Learn to listen.

You don’t need a ton of information to make every decision, but you do need the key information.  When you’re in “discovery” mode (such as on the phone with a client, vendor, potential hire or mentor), be truly open, fully present and listening, so that you receive exactly what you need to know.

And don’t forget to create space in your life for meditation and quiet time every day.  Connecting to your intuition in this neutral space creates trust over time, so you can follow your inner guidance in the moment.

2. Know how your intuition shows up.

For years, my intuition used to show up as a very clear, firm voice in my head.  (That voice has saved my life – literally – more than once.)  Then, a couple of years ago, something changed and now intuition shows up on the physical plane as a specific sensation in my body.  Intuition can take as many forms as we have senses: auditory, visual, kinesthetic, and beyond.  Know how it shows up for you so you can recognize it in an instant.

3.  Is it intuition or is it fear?

This is the biggie – is it intuition or is it fear?  Remember, whenever you grow, your ego is going to be challenged.  It will throw up everything it can to stop you – that’s it’s job!  Your job is to learn to tell the difference between true intuition and fear/ego masquerading as intuition to stop you in your tracks.

How do you tell the difference?  Practice.   In the moment, “first thought, best thought” usually applies.  Regardless of the situation, make a quick mental note of your first thought or “flash.”  You can act on it or not – either way, you’ll be able to go back to the decision later and see how accurate that first thought was.

4. Take action quickly.

Intuition is like a muscle – the more you act on the guidance you receive, the easier the guidance will come and the harder it is for the ego to take you out.  Successful people are quick to decide and slow to change their minds.  Make your decision quickly and keep moving!

A Simple System To Grow Your List (Without Having Others Promote You)

I hear it all the time: “Elizabeth, how can I grow my list when I don’t have anyone partnering with me and promoting my stuff?”

Truth is, you can generate a lot of revenue (and serve in a big way) with a small list.  I didn’t get serious about growing my list until well after my first multi-six-figures – and I only had about 650 people on my list at the time.

Nonetheless, growing your list is a big part of the 4th Key of Leverage – using the Internet and online marketing to market “one to many” (instead of one to one).   And while working with partners is undoubtedly the fastest way to reach more people, it’s not the only way.

Even when I had a small list, I consistently added  75-100 new people with every launch, with the help of a little system I invented that I’m going to share with you right now.  (These numbers might seem small, but they add up over time, especially when you’re just getting your list going.)

Step 1: Find your “channels.”

Where are all the places where you can reach your clients?  Make a big list of your “channels” – places online where your clients are hanging out AND you can establish a presence – i.e., participate and interact with people.  These include social networks, NING sites, forums, places you can advertise, networking organizations and of course your own channels (your list, blog, Facebook, Twitter).

“But Elizabeth, I don’t know what my channels are!” Obviously, I can’t find these for you.  But to get you thinking, here are some that I use, either currently or in the past:

• IAWBC Ning site (International Association Of Women In Business Coaching)
• Ladies Who Launch
• In Good Company (This is an NYC-based networking group for women entrepreneurs, similar to LWL. Membership includes email privileges to the group.)
• New Coach Connection mailing list
• Solo-E, SelfGrowth.com
• SeeYouOnTheCall.com (amazing resource – check them out and yes, invest in yourself and get the featured listing)
• Facebook groups
• LinkedIn groups

BONUS TIP: It is well worth the investment of a few hundred dollars a year for membership in the right channels – associations that connect you with your chosen audience.   There are lots of these out there – be creative and get support on the brainstorming if you need it.

Step 2: Pick your dates.

Get out your calendar and mark down when you want to share your call with your channels.  These are your “blast dates.”  (That’s what I call them because the word “blast” makes me laugh – feel free to use your own.)

Be sure to include the start date AND the day before.   Then, for some channels, it might be appropriate to do a day or two in the middle.  Use your judgment and follow the etiquette of your channels!

BONUS TIP: When you’re promoting a preview call or promotional teleclass, I recommend filling it over about 10 days.  Longer than that, you’re going to start dragging.  Throughout your launch, your goal is to create and build momentum.

Step 3: Create your copy

Here’s the copy you’re going to want to write (or have someone write for you):

• Opt-in page
• Email promo
• Facebook post(s)
• Ezine copy (this is a short copy blurb – see “Elizabeth Recommends” in my newsletter for examples)
• Tweets

BONUS TIP: I highly, highly encourage you to write as much of this copy at the same time as you can.  (You won’t be able to write every email promo, most likely – but do the first one.)

Step 4: Blast away

On your chosen dates, either you (or better yet, someone on your team) can simply go down the list of channels and post about your call.  Your assistant might have to tweak the copy a little here and there, but if it’s pre-written, for the most part she can just cut and paste.  That’s it!

Don’t forget your list! When communicating with your email list, be sure to add a “PS” at the bottom of your email, asking them to refer their friends and colleagues to your call.  You’d be surprised at how many people will do it.

Like any marketing, the key to making this system work for you is to create relationships and do it consistently.  Don’t blast places where you’re NOT already hanging out, connecting and participating.  Don’t expect to get tons of new signups the first time.  Once you have the system down, you can easily hand it off to a team member.   Enjoy!

This little system is just a sampling of the how-to content and mindset shifts I shared on my recent no-cost training call, “Leverage Secrets Of 6-Figure Entrepreneurs: How To Turn Your Divine Feminine Gifts Into An Extra $5,000 – $50,000 Each Month And Create True Freedom To Live Life On Your Terms… While Becoming The Leader You’re Destined To Be.”  Get access to the recording here:

http://www.marketinggoddess.com/leverage/

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