How to gracefully stop “giving away the farm”

Earlier this week, I had the privilege of facilitating an amazing all-day virtual workshop for my “MMM goddesses” on the topic of money breakthroughs and manifestation.

One of my clients asked a question that has been “up” for many in the group lately. “How do I know when I am over-giving? And how do I stop over-giving?”

Over-giving is a classic symptom of the Money Mirror of Deservability. Deservability also shows up as cramming too much “stuff” in your packages and programs, giving away extra services (more than what’s paid for) without charging, or making yourself too available (think after-hours or weekend phone calls from demanding clients).

The recurring theme behind the Money Mirror of Deservability is “never enough” and the emotional undercurrent is a driving need to please. No matter how much you give away your time, services, or expertise, somehow it’s never enough. And because what you really want is acknowledgement and acceptance, you’ll bend over backwards to get it. Problem is, it’s never enough – creating a vicious cycle of burnout, exhaustion and resentment.

(One of the big ironies of this Money Mirror is that deservability attracts more deservability – in other words, you’ll tend to attract clients who take a “not good enough” stance when it comes to your services. Aie yi yi!)

The best way to know if you’re over-giving is to simply check in. Are you working really hard? Is the true energy behind giving more a genuine desire to create value (which you can do without working yourself into a frenzy, by the way) or a fear that what you do give “isn’t enough” or a need to please?

Most importantly, check your level of satisfaction. Are you at peace? If not, it’s time to stop giving away the farm at such a great cost to you.

Try this breakthrough action to stop over-giving: The next time you’re designing a program or service, cut the deliverables in half. For each component of your program, ask, “Do they really need this to get the outcome?”

This might seem like a drastic measure, but actually, your clients will feel relieved. Remember, you can always add things back in, but even just cutting them out “on paper” will shift your thinking.

When you look to other people, such as your own clients, to know that you’re “good enough,” you’ll never be satisfied. It is up to YOU to give yourself the gifts of acceptance, acknowledgement and love. You are perfect, right now, as you are.

Bright blessings and massive success to you….