Are you playing victim in your business?
One of the principles I’ve chosen to live by is that of taking personal responsibility for my experience – 100%, no excuses.
I happen to find personal responsibility to be incredibly exciting. At first, though, it completely shook me up. The discovery of personal responsibility forced me to confront how I had been playing victim and giving up my power, usually to other people. Not just once or twice, but for years.
(“You mean instead of just sitting here and suffering, I have the power to change my experience?” I have to tell you, it completely blew my mind.)
Here’s the thing about personal responsibility: there are no shades of gray. You are either accepting responsibility for your experience, or you are not – even when circumstances look like they are the quote-unquote “fault” of someone or something else. And when you are not, the strong coaching truth is… you are playing the victim. Every time.
Common occurrences of victimhood in business include:
- “I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing and it’s still not working” (otherwise known as whining instead of troubleshooting and course-correcting)
- “My business is different!” (discounting proven systems instead of shifting what needs to be shifted, or adapting the model to their audience)
- “I’m brand new in my business, so I can’t [fill in the blank]…”
- “I don’t have a list yet, so I can’t [fill in the blank]…”
- “My list is small, so… [fill in the blank]”
- Expecting your coach, mentors or their staff to do your work for you (don’t get me started on this one)
We all play victim at some point or another, and believe me, I am not immune! The key is how quickly you see it for what it is, take ownership of what’s going on, and shift OUT of it.
For example, recently I signed up for a class with another coach who I admire and respect. Long story short, let’s just say that the client care experience has been less than optimal. (Okay, okay – from my perspective, it completely sucked.)
Now, I can sit here and imagine that I had nothing to do with it, but the truth is, I had everything to do with it. I clicked on the dang ‘Buy’ button and gave her my credit card! Hello! Not a mystery why the experience was in my life.
So how do you get out of victim mode? Remember that you are personally responsible for your experience, which means you are always at choice. Even when the choices don’t “look” good, they exist. Always.
In my case, I decided to loosen my grip on that particular class and funnel my energy elsewhere. I used the experience as an opportunity to work on my own client care systems, which are a work in progress as I grow. I also I blessed the coach (once I calmed down!), because she does incredible work in the world. I hope she continues to succeed and gets the support she needs to do just that.
This week, my coach’s request to you is to take a look at where you are playing victim in your life or business. Then ask yourself, “What’s the choice I’d like to make, here?”
Resist the temptation to dismiss the choices in front of you because they don’t look good. Instead, use your creative powers to create more choice and possibilities, or ask someone with an outside perspective, such as a coach or mentor, to help you perceive the choices you can’t see right now.
Bright blessings and massive success to you…